Who’s Loving You???

I just read this piece about Rachel Jeantel and Trayvon Martin’s relationship and how Trayvon Martin was the only guy in Rachel’s life who never teased her nor made fun of her and how refreshing that was for her, and it made me think about all the relationships in my life (again): the good, the bad, the love’s, the false loves, all the pleasure and all the pain… and as much as I pine for my own I really really wanna direct some positivity toward Rachel Jeantel.

I’m lighting a candle for you as I let go of the loves I’ve lost and feel you going through the same on such a more intense level.

I watched all of Rachel’s testimony on the witness stand a couple days after the fact and I just couldn’t believe how hard the lawyers went after her. Really, they should be locked up! I cannot believe that any of this even happened. I cannot believe how awful people treat each other. I guess I should because my whole life has been a series of unfortunate people wanting to try to drag me into their bullshit and feel as awful as they must feel but I’ve always made a conscious choice to feel the pain but let it wash over me. We cannot hold onto that hate.

Keep the internal light bright!!
Keep the internal light bright!!
Keep the internal light bright!!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I was recently gay bashed by five guys, they stomped me into the sidewalk and I flew out of my body and into the sky and had this moment looking down on them beating the fuck out of my body where I realized we really are comprised of spirit trapped in flesh. And then I paused and wondered whether or not I wanted to go back into that body that has never really found a place in this world. And it was then that I realized I had to go back to that body! I had to make sure that I kept that body moving on this planet because it’s so important if you represent difference to do it daringly and to keep it going and to never cave to the people who hate difference. Once my spirit made it back into the body I sat up and as soon as I sat up I realized one of the kids was still there and he ran up and socked me in the face one last time and I fell down for a second time and watched him run away for the last time. Immediately I thought, “Welcome back!” Then I realized they had stolen my phone and wallet and I filled up with rage and ran back inside. Yes, it happened right in front of my apartment… My mother keeps trying to get me to promise to never go out in “women’s clothing” again but I can’t make that choice. With every bashing my decision to dress as I want to dress and be the person I want to be becomes more vehemently resolute.

I wish we could have a beach day, Rachel! The ocean is sooo healing!!! Or go do whatever it is you love to do!!!

Here’s all the cyber love I can muster in my sadden and insomnia induced state!!!

Remember: look the naysayer’s in the eye and hold your head up baby!!!

NYPD MURDER UNARMED 18 Year Old.

 

This is a reblogging of an article I read on blackyouthproject.org (to the family + friends, you have our thoughts and prayers):

 

18 year-old Ramarley Graham was shot and killed by plain clothes NYPD officers yesterday(Thursday, Feb 2nd) after he tried to run from them during a confrontation.

Graham was suspected of carrying illegal drugs. Upon allegedly adjusting his waistband while running, the officers assumed Graham was carrying a gun. They chased him into his home, a struggle took place by the entrance into the family bathroom, and Graham was shot. Family members who were home at the time witnessed his death.

While Graham did have marijuana on him, he did not have a gun.

From NewsOne:

“‘He had some weed on with him,’ a family friend told the Daily News. ‘It wasn’t a big deal. They shot him inside the house. … He didn’t have a gun.’

Police reports state that a small amount of marijuana was found in the bathroom and speculate that perhaps the teen had been trying to flush it down the toilet to avoid further arrest.

Graham was taken to a nearby hospital and pronounced dead.

Constance Malcolm, 39, who is Graham’s mother, witnessed the incident and is distraught over the death of her son.

‘They chased him into the house.  Nobody deserves to be shot in their own home.’”

Rosewood: Gender Terrorist

The first time I saw Rosewood perform I felt like I was watching a long lost cousin perform. As Lou Reed sang, “Take a walk on the wild side”, Rosewood dazzled the crowd with the countless ways one can stuff drugs in orifices and managed to turn a pair of high heels into a crack pipe. Rosewood bends gender and uses the body unlike any other I’ve ever seen. And it brings me great pleasure to announce, a few months ago, my friend Jordan Schimmetti and I sat down with Rosewood for an interview.

We met up with Rosewood at the studio wherein s/he produces woodworking and stores the numerous persona’s neatly stashed away in boxes with the name of the outfit written on the front of them. As Rosewood showed us around s/he explained that often s/he will be busy refurbishing a vintage antique when the time comes to whisk off to a performance so it’s best to have everything always ready to go. And all over the walls of the studio are pictures of Shamans Rosewood finds inspirational. One of her favorites lived in India and was famous for turning shit into food or other precious items for the poor and downtrodden.

Lately Rosewood has been causing a scene in both London and NYC, performing her decadent show at The Box and other venues. For those familiar and unfamiliar with Rosewood I suggest you take a walk on the wild side and read on:

SB: You’ve told me that you went to school with Keith Haring in the late seventies. Were you performing then? What was your relationship like?

RW: We intersected at a funny time because I was hitting the curb at that point. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. I had hit the wall. By 1980 I was wrecked. Bleeding from every hole. Drug burnt and sex burnt. And I couldn’t keep going so I had to abandon all that stuff and focus on repair. I did a lot of artwork but it changed from being sociable and relational to private. I went to the woods, the country.

SB: So you completely left the city at that point?

RW: I was in and out of the city. I spent 3 months living in Morocco. Then I moved to New Jersey for a while, then here (NYC), then Connecticut for a while. I really needed to be outside and to keep it simple. I wasn’t sociable at all. I stayed away from people for quite a number of years.

JS: So by 1980, how long had you been in New York for?

RW: Five years.

JS: You are originally from New Jersey, right? So what was that first transition like? Had you always planned on moving to New York?

RW: Well, you know, I got into a lot of different schools, but I was such a freak, I just couldn’t wait to get out of my hometown and New York sounded perfect! Once I got here, I felt liberated. However, with that kind of liberation came all the pitfalls. And I fell into every one of them.

JS: Did you have a decent relationship with your parents as a young person? Were you running from something or trying to expand? Was there an antagonism back in Jersey you were running from?

RW: I had identity issues. Even then and now I fit more into the gay world of my town, which was small. I wasn’t as easy to categorize because everyone else was hiding and I wasn’t hiding in any way and I received a lot of antagonism for that.

JS: So you were never closeted in anyway?

RW: Never. I’ve never spent one moment in a closet.

SB: Were you doing drag then?

RW: Not full drag, then. I wasn’t doing female impersonation. It was the time of hair bands and glam rock, so I had big hair and wore makeup and it was always hard to say because there was Queen and a few of their members were reasonably known as gay but it wasn’t talked about quite the same way is it now. So, I just looked like I had stepped off a stage.

JS: So you’ve been performing your entire life?

RW: I went in and out of it. Everything started at the age of ten, at my local Jewish Community Center. I took woodworking and theater (lifts hands in the air, as we’re in Rosewood’s workshop which consists of drag and woodworking tools, showing that to this day that is Rosewood’s reality). Theater for us was Vaudeville. My teacher was a New Yorker – she was a hardcore, jaded lady who was interested in doing Vaudeville shows in the middle of New Jersey. So I was doing Vaudeville, mostly magic and comedy. And then, when I came to New York, everything shifted, I studied to be a spotter in gambling casinos. I had learned all sorts of card cheating. My Grandfather had been a kind of hustler. He taught me card stuff and referred me to people and I wound up spotting card games to make sure things were legal.

SB: So gambling was legal in New York City then?

RW: There was so much gambling.

SB: And it was legal?

RW: Oh no. They were shady, backroom, gambling games. They had me there in case someone was cheating; I was supposed to point them out. But what I came to realize, very quickly, was, “now what?” If I say something, someone is going to get shot and there’s a good chance that someone would’ve been me. Finally I asked myself, if I wanted to be around the gambling world and after all that study and training I realized I had made the wrong turn.